Romantic Orientation

Romantic orientation is something that is often overlooked and under discussed. I find is so frustrating when people use romantic attraction as a reason for why someone can’t be asexual. There is a difference! I most recently encountered this misunderstanding while reading the book Trans 101. The author, a transgender man, took a moment to mention different aspects of the LGBTQIA community, and I was so happy when he mentioned asexuality. My enthusiasm quickly turned to frustration when he included in his description of asexuality that it was an “orientation in which does not experience sexual or romantic attraction.” Really?! You are writing an educational book about transgenderism, and you bothered to take the time to mention other aspects of the LGBTQIA community and you didn’t take the time to properly research asexuality, when a few clicks into AVEN would have likely cleared everything up? ( insert deeply disgruntled sigh here).

Asexuality is not exclusive to aromanticism, and it is possible to be aromantic without being asexual. Back in 2015, a blog called “The Asexual Agenda” interviewed one such person, and there is a tumblr page dedicated to allo aromantics.                                       Some better known romantic orientations include: Heteroramtic – the definition of which I think can be gathered from the word, homoromantic and biromantic – another two that I don’t think need explanation, and panromantic- which is essentially romantic attraction regardless of gender, e.i.  could include attraction to non-binary people as well as people who identify as male or female. Gray-romantic – feelings that are somewhere in between romantic and platonic, can also describe experiencing romantic attraction very rarely. Demi-romantic – romantic attraction that only forms after an emotional bond has been established.                                                                                                          Now, here are some romantic orientations that aren’t as commonly know:                      Abroromantic – romantic orientation that is constantly in flux.    Aegoromanitc/autochorisromantic – liking the idea of romance, but not wishing to participate in romantic activities.                                                                                          Alterous romantic – describes someone who isn’t comfortable labeling their feelings as wholly platonic or romantic, attraction may be combination.                             Apathromantic – describes someone who is romance indifferent.                        Apresromantic – describes someone who only feels romantic attraction after another type of attraction is felt.                                                                                                Apothiromantic – repulsed by romance.                                                                    Bellusromantic – describes someone who is fine with flirting and the “cute, fluffy” aspects of romance, but does not desire a relationship.                                                          Cupioromantic – describes someone who desire a romantic relationship but does not experience romantic attraction.                                                                                     Frayromantic – describes someone who is only attracted to those they are less familiar with (also called reverese demi).                                                                                           Lithromantic – experiencing romantic attraction and not desiring it to be reciprocated, subset of gray-sexuality.                                                                                                     platoniromantic – having difficulty distinguishing between platonic and romantic attraction.                                                                                                                               polyromantic – attraction to people of multiple, but not all genders.

There are many more terms relating to romance and a few orientations having to do with PTSD/ trauma that I hope to cover in a later post. If you know of any orientations that I didn’t list here, or disagree with the definition of something, please let me know. 🙂

Here is an adorable kitten with a feline goatee to cheer you up if your day isn’t going so smoothly:     cute-cat with goateee

Until next time! Keep on Aceing it!


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